From Stressed to Blessed

Alright friends, here we are, December 19^th and only six days until the Big Day! Can you believe it!? Every year it seems to descend upon us quicker than the last. Before we know it, time has escaped us and we are left with only days to accomplish the impossible. Get the Christmas cards mailed- will they even make it in time? Oh well, nothing wrong with receiving a card after Christmas… maybe I should send it as a New Year’s card

instead! Oh dear, what about the lights!? Christmas isn’t Christmas without the lights! However will the hubby find hours to spend on the roof before the Big Day?! Panic is setting in! Dinner? Cookies? If we are going to have a real Christmas we must make it a feast. The door bell rings. It’s my all too thoughtful neighbor delivering an amazing assortment of edible gifts. Really? And now I have yet one more necessity to pile upon my mile long list because, well, I will not receive without giving back! Ahhhhhhh! I am overwhelmed to the point of tears. I cannot possibly do it all, Lord! Who do You think I am? Super Woman? I am overwhelmed! Overwhelmed. This word devours me lately.

But God. Let me repeat that- But God. I love when the scriptures include a “But God.” Whenever I read those two words I am immediately relieved with anticipation of God’s Buts. (Please don’t read that the wrong way!) He gave me some Buts today and I can’t help but share with you! As the enemy came against Jehoshaphat and was too much for him to bear, God proclaimed “‘Do not be afraid or dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s” (2 Chr 20:15). “My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever “ (Ps 73:26). And my favorite: “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom 5:8).

When I am dismayed and overwhelmed over the great multitude of things I must conquer, I take heart that this battle is not mine, but God’s. My flesh and my heart fail, but God is my strength! I choose not to be overwhelmed by my list, but rather overwhelmed by the affection of a God that loved me and died for me while I was yet a sinner, despising and hating Him. I am overwhelmed at the miraculous birth that took place over two thousand years ago. I am overwhelmed that this perfect God-Child grew to be the Servant of servants, yet King of kings, all the while seeking, loving, and choosing me. This God, this Love, this Friend of mine, He is overwhelming. And all of a sudden, I am devoured by an overwhelming God rather than an overwhelming list.

And as the Psalmist pleas, so will I: “From the end of the earth I will cry unto You, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the Rock that is higher than I” (Ps 61:2).

Rejection and Healing Grace

Rejected. Disqualified. Undesirable. Unwanted. Lacking. Disappointing. Not good enough. Why, oh why am I here again? And so soon! Why do I continue to find my identity in things and other people? Why do I persist in setting myself up for failure and disappointment? My expectations are all wrong. I hate that I am dealing with this issue again. I am frustrated in myself for allowing it. Yet, here I am.

Truth is, I know God loves me unconditionally, and I think I know wholeheartedly that He has my best interest in mind. He’s not the one I doubt. It’s those around me that I struggle with. When others disappoint me, or when I feel like I have failed them, I KNOW without a doubt that I can rely on my trustworthy God. When I disappoint myself because I fail to meet my own expectations, He remains the same no matter my circumstances. This is what I will take comfort in, the sole thing that will keep me moving, keep me writing, and keep me grounded. I must keep my eyes on Him.

Once again I am soothed and reassured by the only One who really understands me. He reminds me that not only was He rejected, despised, misunderstood, and unwanted, but that He sufficiently fulfills all my needs and understands these struggles in my life because He encountered them Himself. Yet, He was without sin and blameless while I am sinful and full of blame. Even so, even as He sees my heart and my failures, He covers me with His unfailing love, compassion, kindness, and care.  And this is where I will sit. This is what I will let devour me. I will wait here in this place until His perfect love consumes the rejection that eats me up. I will be still and allow His healing power to incinerate those desires and feelings in me that are not of Him. I am reminded of those words to the song and I cry out “empty me Lord, and fill me with You!”

You may not be aware of the fact that as I write, I pray that my words might comfort and encourage you. I pray that my words would be His words and He would speak into your situation and bring healing. What you also may not know is that He does that very thing with me. Just in this short amount of time I have spent here, talking with Him and sharing with you, a measure of grace is being poured out upon me and I am being restored. And I am thankful. I am thankful that He speaks to me, chastens me, gives me words to share, allows me to share with you, and restores and encourages me the whole time. I am unworthy, yes, but He is in the habit of using such as me. And I am humbled.

If you are burdened today, please allow yourself to be filled with the only One who truly fills. Be filled with Jesus and His unconditional, perfect love today.

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with

our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are,

yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the

throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy

and find grace to help in time of need.

-Hebrews 4:15-16 (NKJV)