Coming Home

The war in Iraq is over and our soldiers are coming home. This is a day of celebration for the American People! For many, December 15, 2011 will forever be a day to remember, as loved ones are released from the threat of harm and death. For others, it will be a time mixed with joy and sorrow; a time of rejoicing for these families and soldiers, yet filled with great sadness because their soldier never made it home; their soldier is now a memory.

Their soldier will not be greeted with warm hugs, cries of joy, and tears of relief because their soldier was buried years ago, months ago, or maybe only days ago fighting a war for protection and peace.  For countless other American’s, today is simply another day. Although the war is all too real, the bloodshed unthinkably fatal, and the purpose of great worth, what the eyes have not seen, and the heart has not felt, the mind has not understood.

I ashamedly confess falling into this latter group of Americans. Maybe it’s because I have no loved ones serving and risking their lives in Iraq. Perhaps it is a result of steering clear of the horrific news reports of tragedy and death this war has caused. Whatever the reasoning, it is unwarranted and inexcusable. If you are reading this today and have lost a loved one, or spent months or even years anticipating your soldier’s return home, I ask your forgiveness for my unwillingness, for my lack of compassion, for my unfaithfulness to pray for your family and your warrior. I praise God your loved one was obedient to His calling and willing to risk his/her life for another. And I pray your soldier is coming home.

Unfortunately I have another confession. Just as my eyes did not see the war in Iraq and my heart did not feel for the soldiers in danger or the families in waiting, I have not actively understood the spiritual battle taking place every moment of every day. Yes, the battle is all too real, the bloodshed

unthinkably fatal, and the purpose of great worth, but my physical eyes have blinded my spiritual eyes. I have been a soldier unfit for battle. I have been a friend unsupportive to those who have given their lives to serve our God and His people. I go about my day unaware of the battle taking place in my heart, in my life, and in the lives of those around me. I get up each morning neglecting to put my armor on, neglecting to actively engage in the most real battle ever to be fought, and I am a soldier unprotected, unguarded, and completely defenseless.

Oh LORD God, I beg Your forgiveness for the heartlessness of my actions. I ask You to wipe away this selfishness in me that prevents me from seeing the reality of what is occurring on this physical earth and in the spiritual places. I KNOW we wrestle against powers and principalities. I KNOW I need my full armor to battle the fiery darts of the wicked one. You have been faithful to teach me these things, yet I have been unfaithful to walk in them. Please forgive me, Father. I rejoice today for the soldiers coming home. I praise You for the joy their families must feel! I ask You to pour out Your perfect peace upon those who have lost their brave warrior. God, I anticipate the day You proclaim “This war is over! My children are coming home!” I anxiously await my Perfect Father rejoicing over me, greeting me with warm, loving hugs . Please grant me eyes to see and a heart of compassion. Please forgive me and fill me with Your strength to finish strong and hold up the hands of others as they actively submit to Your calling in their lives. I thank You for Your faithfulness to this unfaithful soldier. In the mighty Name which is above all names, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

What About Me?

Goodness, the longer I walk with Christ the more wretched I become. As our relationship grows more intimate, I seem to grow more selfish. How can this be? Shouldn’t I be more like my Savior every day? Shouldn’t I begin to bear His image, to walk as He walked? I want to offer you and myself an excuse. I would love to say that as I become more keenly aware of Christ’s perfect love and goodness, I also become more attentive to my own deficiencies, selfish ambitions, and sinful desires. And there may be some truth to that. Even so, there is no excusable reason for these thoughts and intents of my heart.

You see, lately I grow frustrated with baby Christians stepping up into ministries and godly areas I have strived so hard to serve in. I consider the numerous classes I’ve taken, bible studies I’ve participated in, groups I’ve been a part of, and just the little things I do regularly between only me and my Lord and I think, "What about me?." I observe these brand new believers receiving great opportunity in ministry, honor, glory, and a name for themselves. As if I were brother to the prodigal son, I cry out pridefully,  "look, these many years I have been serving You; I never transgressed Your commandment at any time; and yet You never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. But as soon as this son of Yours came, who has devoured Your livelihood with harlots, You kill the fatted calf for him” (Lk 15:29-30). Let’s get one thing straight- I do not want a young goat or a fatted calf. However, I would be happily content with a clear, effective  ministry, or some acknowledgement regarding the countless acts of service I have performed. Is this too much to ask for?

I am such an example of the vineyard workers complaining against the landowner after receiving a day’s wage, “These last men have worked only one hour, and you made them equal to us who have borne the burden and the heat of day” (Matt 20:12). Lord, it’s just not fair! It’s simply not done this way! How can you forget about all I’ve done? What about me?

Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saves us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit. –Titus 3:5

And then I am reminded of the thief on the cross. Even having reviled and mocked Jesus, our perfect Lord forgave this man, offering him salvation in the last moments of his life (Matt 27:44, Lk 23:39-43)). This thief reigns with Christ in Heaven today. This thief received Mercy and Grace from a dying Savior. I must understand this! The thief, after mocking Jesus Christ was granted Mercy (not receiving what he deserves ) and Grace (receiving what he don’t deserve). Rather than life separated from Christ for eternity, as I deserve, He has offered me something I could never earn, something I do not deserve, payment for my sins and eternity with Him. Mercy and Grace!

So with this difficult correcting from the Lord, with this revealing of my heart's selfish desire, comes thankfulness in that whom He loves He also chastens (Heb 12:5-6). I will receive this correction and most of all, I will receive this love. Rather than ask what about me I seek to ask what about Him?