I have such a need to reflect on my thoughts, chew them up for a while, think on them some more, and then spill it all out here somehow. My intent is for you to consider with me. My desire is that everything rolling around in my thoughts will pour out perfectly through fingers and keyboard, inspiring you to reflect, think, think some more, and then come back and converse with me.
The problem is, I'm never completely settled in these random thoughts of mine because I'm constantly learning and deciphering, and changing my mind, and then forgetting and having to learn again. So I set myself down intending to get bare before you; to be raw and real, but then I realize the issue isn't quite right within myself and the thoughts I thought I needed to share are only half thoughts and not really worth sharing at all.
And then there are the other bloggers. You know the ones! They take something as meaningless as a lifeless stick, or the neighbor's ugly cat, and turn it into life changing words that convict the heart and speak to the soul. Their poetic language produces emotions within us that we're not quite sure how to manage. They reveal truth to the reader unlike anything else could. They leave us feeling refreshed, refined, replenished, and somehow hungering for more all at the same time.
Between my struggle to take a thought and stick with it long enough to form a solid conclusion, and the knowledge that there are thousands of other bloggers out there with infinitely more wisdom than I, it is impossible to deny my discouragement and lack of ability. I simply cannot compete and honestly, I don't want to.
And that's the whole point. This is not a competition. This whole site and writing thing is for the purpose of glorifying God and sharing simple things that He bothers to share with me. I want to look back and remember where He took me and how we got there. Together. I am not here to exalt myself or cause anyone to think I am something great or someone other than me.
“You will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making. Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring two pence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it... Give up yourself, and you will find your real self.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
If I've been successful in sharing only two simple things on this site, let it be that He is everything and I am nothing. I will continue to seek His face, meditate on His Word and His truth, sporadically share my inconclusive thoughts, and pray He blesses others with my dull, unoriginal words. I will persistently set myself before a computer screen intending to share a particular idea, and watch the whole jumble of words morph into something entirely different, wondering all the while how and why this is happening. But I will write because, as Peter and John would say, for I cannot but speak the things which I have seen and heard.
I appreciate all of you who faithfully read and offer encouragement!
Thanks for blessing me!
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