It’s not easy to admit this, knowing anyone could read, and most of you would never allow your home to dwell in such chaos. However, I speak of it openly to you for a couple of reasons:
1. I desire to be transparent. I try to share not only the good, praiseworthy areas of my home and family, but also the difficult unmentionables that truly are a part of this family’s everyday life.
2. I suspect there to be at least one (probably more) wives and moms out there feeling the same way I do today, and a large focus of this site is to better enable us to relate with and encourage one another, knowing we are not alone in our daily struggles (1 Cor10:13).
3. Falling short, having a sink full of dishes, unswept floors (my computer says unswept is not a word. It hasn’t seen my floors), piles of laundry, ignoring bed times, and serving unhealthy meals does not affect our righteousness (which is of Christ and not ourselves), or our salvation (Eph 2:8-9).
How easy it is to for me to get caught up in self righteousness when all is orderly and under control. It is equally tempting to shower myself with self condemnation when I look around and see nothing but chaos. Maybe we can take Paul’s encouragement to the Philippians to learn to be content in whatever state they find themselves in (Phil 4:11-13) and apply that to our lives as moms, wives, and homemakers. No matter the state of my house, Christ is Christ, His salvation remains, and I am His.
With that said, I must get out of the hole I have stumbled into, and this is what I am intentionally choosing today. Chaos cannot separate Christ’s love or salvation already imparted to me (Rom 8:38-39), however it greatly affects my relationship with my hubby and kids and my ability to serve and minister to others. I will ask for His strength, cling to that strength, and move forward. He is a God of grace and unfailing love, however He is also a God of order and after two weeks of mayhem, I crave the peace which comes from structured order. I suspect my hubby and kiddos do too.
If you find yourself in this same predicament, don’t let these feelings of failure hold you captive and immovable. Start where you are and move forward from there. If you are in sin, confess, repent, and receive forgiveness along with the grace to forget those things which are behind and reach forward to that which lies ahead (Phil 3:13).
Now I’m off. I have some work to do J How about you?
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Stephanie.. I totally relate to your comments. The last two weeks with the kids out of school (well, I home school, so it was just no school)and the husband on vacation; no bedtimes, sleeping late, we had a lazy "stay-cation". But it's time to get back to business. I went to bed last night with a to-do list in mind for our first day back at school work, chores, piano lessons, etc.... Only to remember upon waking that it was a year ago today that a car accident took the lives of my Mother and Aunt. I'm still sitting on the couch in my pj's and it's almost noon. But, I can do this, right? So... Thanks for the encouragement and the push.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
'Lena
Ah... I'm not a wife or a mom, but perfectionist that I am I can SO relate to what you say: "How easy it is to for me to get caught up in self righteousness when all is orderly and under control. It is equally tempting to shower myself with self condemnation when I look around and see nothing but chaos." Seasons of relaxation must be allowed, but as you say if all our lives are about relaxing it will kill our ability to be in relationship, service, and ministry - it will, in a very real way, cut us off from the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit. Thanks for the post; I love your refreshing sense of humor. =)
ReplyDeleteLena, I have no words that would even come close to comforting your heart on this day. But I know He has and will continue to offer you comfort only He can and to walk you through this. You have my permission spend this entire day relaxing on the couch, enjoying your pj's, and remembering the lives of those that left you suddenly. I'm so honored you stopped by today, Lena. (and I love your "stay-cation.")
ReplyDeleteHello again, Joy. From one perfectionist to another, let me just say I'm so thankful to have you around! You always make me feel better about myself and you make the 'difficult to share issues' not quite as terrible as I'd imagined. This 'refreshing sense of humor' you mention is quite unknown to me, as I generally find myself dry and unoriginal, so thanks for that little unexpected comment.
ReplyDeleteI find dry refreshing. Humor is in the little things. ;). Thank YOU for being around too, and for your encouraging words.
ReplyDeleteWow! What a wonderful, honest post. I really needed that today. I'm just getting to put away all the Christmas stuff and things are looking worse before they get better I guess. haha. I always have to be careful to not take out my stress on everybody else when I've kind of let the house go. I know it's because of my guilt or self-condemnation. I need to stay balanced so that I feel good and my family can be comfortable too. Thanks for sharing. =)
ReplyDeleteGood to see you, Sherry! I finally put my Christmas stuff away today too, and happily chucked that tree out the back door! Felt so good! :) I even mopped, and boy was it wonderful. One thing about letting the house go, you feel such accomplishment when it is clean once more. Heehee.
ReplyDeleteI think there remains two key points to the Christian walk: checking the heart and keeping in balance. Both are so vital, yet can be so tiresome.
Thanks again for stopping by.
haha..... boy can I relate. Our schedule last week was non-existant, which made getting on schedule this week a pain in the rear. I went from going to bed at 1ish and getting up anywhere from 8-10, to going to bed at 10 and getting up at 7. It took my body a few days to recover.... and you know, as nice as it is to relax, there is - like you said - a peace to be found in structure and after about a week without it, I truly missed that. Thankfully, life is getting back to normal as we speak. :)
ReplyDeleteBut it's also a good to remember that His love and grace is not based on our actions, but on His goodness. As a fellow perfectionist, I get discouraged easily by my many imperfections... but He loves us because He chooses to love us, not because we have done anything to deserve it. He knows I'm not perfect... but He loves me anyway. What an awesome God we serve. :)
We can so relate, RachelAllison! My poor kids have been exhausted all week, my son so tired he cried on the way to school both yesterday and today. When your schedule is out of wack, 6:30 comes far too early. We are so thankful it is Friday, and that next week offers another chance to get some rest and feel better!
ReplyDelete