Monday, February 13, 2012

The Silver Lining


I don’t mean to be a Debby Downer going on and on about my family’s struggles and heartaches, but let’s face it, life is hard, and sometimes we need to know that it’s just as hard for others as well.  We also need to glimpse that silver lining; to know that somewhere in what seems an impossible, unrelenting tempest, there’s hope, and light is shining through those dark clouds.

Lately I’ve been walking one of the most difficult paths, facing a storm whose strength is unlike any other I have encountered. The waves are crashing in, knocking me down, taking every ounce of joy, comfort, and life I possess; leaving me exhausted and sorrowful. This storm- seeing my girl face life for the first time.

I can’t bear to see the wounds! I can’t endure the pain she’s facing! I want to take every tear, every disappointment, every moment of loneliness, and carry it for her! But I can’t, and this scares me.

As we sat quietly, listening to her share, and cry, and cry some more, I couldn’t help but weep myself. It was such a relief to see her finally open up. What a blessing to hear the heart of my baby girl. But it tore me in half listening to the pain. She’s hurting! She’s facing life’s struggles, and those struggles are no longer as simple as choosing which cereal to eat for breakfast or what color to paint her nails. My girl is encountering trials, and these trials are not short lived, but will continue to challenge her for years to come.

Where’s the silver lining here? These struggles she’s facing- I’ve faced them time and again. The loneliness she’s experiencing- I’ve experienced it so often myself. Those feelings of hopelessness; that sense of being alone and having no one who can relate- I know that feeling! I can empathize with my daughter’s season of sadness because I have faced these seasons myself; and this is my silver lining.

However, a fourteen year old struggles to find comfort in her mother’s wisdom or in the fact that Jesus Christ faced similar trials and felt similar pain. I have no magic words that will wipe away the hurt or shorten the storm. I cannot take away the grief, lessen the sorrow, or remove her from the trial. What I can do is be there to listen, remind her that she’s loved, and pray with her and for her. I have set an alarm on my phone at a precise time each day; at a time when my girl faces her struggles; at a time I anticipate God will speak to her, comfort her, and use her to reach out to others.

I’m here for you. I’m listening to your struggles. I feel your pain. I am praying you through this. I love you <3

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5 comments:

  1. Praying with you and for you, Steph.
    hugs,
    Lori

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  2. As I read your message today, I found myself crying because I cannot take away my daughters pain, her struggles. You are going through the heartache of watching your child, my grandchild, grow and face the trials that will continue throughout her life just as I did with you. Just know that she will be okay, Jesus is in her heart. And know that I am praying for you both. I love you...Mom

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  3. Praying for you both. I can honestly sympathize with you here in your struggle to find the silver lining.

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