I have such a need to reflect on my thoughts, chew
them up for a while, think on them some more, and then spill it all out here
somehow. My intent is for you to consider with me. My desire is that everything
rolling around in my thoughts will pour out perfectly through fingers and
keyboard, inspiring you to reflect, think, think some more, and then come back
and converse with me.
The problem is, I'm never completely settled in
these random thoughts of mine because I'm constantly learning and deciphering,
and changing my mind, and then forgetting and having to learn again. So I set
myself down intending to get bare before you; to be raw and real, but then I
realize the issue isn't quite right within myself and the thoughts I thought I needed to share are only half thoughts and not
really worth sharing at all.
And then there are the other bloggers. You know
the ones! They take something as meaningless as a lifeless stick, or the
neighbor's ugly cat, and turn it into life changing words that convict the
heart and speak to the soul. Their poetic language produces emotions within us that
we're not quite sure how to manage. They reveal truth to the reader unlike anything
else could. They leave us feeling refreshed, refined, replenished, and somehow
hungering for more all at the same time.
Between my struggle to take a thought and stick
with it long enough to form a solid conclusion, and the knowledge that there
are thousands of other bloggers out there with infinitely more wisdom than I,
it is impossible to deny my discouragement and lack of ability. I simply cannot
compete and honestly, I don't want to.
And that's the whole point. This is not a
competition. This whole site and writing
thing is for the purpose of glorifying God and sharing simple things that He
bothers to share with me. I want to look back and remember where He took me
and how we got there. Together. I am not here to exalt myself or cause anyone
to think I am something great or someone other than me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You will never make a good impression on other
people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making.
Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be
original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring two pence
how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become
original without ever having noticed it... Give up yourself, and you will find
your real self.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If
I've been successful in sharing only two simple things on this site, let it be
that He is everything and I am nothing. I will continue to
seek His face, meditate on His Word and His truth, sporadically share my inconclusive
thoughts, and pray He blesses others with my dull, unoriginal words. I will persistently
set myself before a computer screen intending to share a particular idea, and
watch the whole jumble of words morph into something entirely different,
wondering all the while how and why this is happening. But I will write
because, as Peter and John would say, for
I cannot but speak the things which I have seen and heard.
I
appreciate all of you who faithfully read and offer encouragement!
Thanks for
blessing me!
Follow me on Facebook.
From a blogger (well, former, haven't blogged in ages) to another blogger I know exactly what you feel. What a wonderful quote from CS Lewis.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your half-thoughts, I always like those the best :) . Keeping doing it!
Blessings, sister!
--Sarah
Hi Sarah! Thanks for appreciating my half-thoughts. And for understanding. I'm so thankful for those who don't give up on me when I'm silent, or only rambling, or just speaking nonsense. As with all things, this whole writing thing is a work in progress. But it is progress :)
DeleteI'm blessed to see you here!