Shedding Tears and Sin {Five Minute Friday}

Lisa-Jo offers the challenge week after week: take a measly five minutes and write. No over thinking, no backtracking, no ‘wait, that’s not spiritual enough, and I can’t share that in cyber city’ mentality. Only writing. Writing for five minutes and risking the outcome. {and don’t forget to spend some time commenting on the post of the person who linked up just before you.}

This week's prompt- Rhythm

GO

It's been a week of exhaustion and exaltation. We've welcomed little ones and walked them right up to that cross. They drew a little picture, wrote their name on that print, and marched one after another. "Jesus is calling you by name." I tell her. She looks at me, eyes wide and full of wonder. "He loves you and He wants to wash away your sin. Put that sin right there on that cross. Right there where Jesus' blood poured out."

And I see the tears. This isn't a game to her. She knows she's a sinner and she knows Jesus is here. Now. I hug her and she walks away.

They come one after another. "Jesus loves you so much, and He's calling you by your name." I fear it's too repetitive, but I know the words are true. The first time and the hundredth time. And the words aren't my own but they are life and they come from the Life Giver.

One after another. Coming to the cross and shedding the tears and the sins and the life they lived this morning in their living rooms and at their kitchen tables with Mom and Dad and neighbors who watch from across the way.

It's more than words. It's the rhythm of a Savior and the power of the Holy Spirit working through the heart of servants.

STOP

It's been an emotional experience of Vacation Bible School at our church this week. Would you pray for God's little ones tomorrow? And for His big one's sharing Christ's love, forgiveness, and merciful grace? Their hearts are raw and ready. And Jesus is calling each one by name.

Now head over to The Gypsy Mama's site to visit other 'Five Minute Fridayers.' Be amazed at where one word can take a community of writers and Jesus lovers, and leave some encouraging feedback. Most importantly, it's your turn, go fall onto a chair, and let your thoughts fall into a keyboard. Then share them with us. 

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Rooted and Grounded

For years I have suffered from what was first diagnosed as dry skin, then eczema, and now psoriasis. I have tried creams, medications, bi-weekly injections, even a gluten free diet. Each came with promises of a miracle cure; each left me disappointed, scaling, and flaky (Yes, I’m guilty of THAT kind of flaky too).  My new attempt at conquering the chronic wintery skin- solar lights. Yep, a good old fake-n-bake tanning bed! Of course, my dermatologist offers ‘medically approved’ solar treatments for a substantial fee several times a week. Um, how about I pay only $30 a month and get me some summer color in the middle of February instead!? Sounds like the best choice to me!

Can you picture it? Reclined in a brightly lit, WARM, coffin like container (did I mention it was incredibly WARM?), sweating my buns off (and hopefully my thighs too), with nothing else to do but think, think, think. I began to wonder what would happen to those areas- you know, the ones that hadn’t seen the sun in years. Uh oh, maybe I didn’t think this through very well. The next day I realized just what a bad idea it was. Now, let me clarify, I’m only referring to my stomach and back. The other areas, the unmentionables, those I won’t even consider baring to UV lights. My stomach, which hadn’t seen that kind of light since pre-kid days, a decade and a half ago, was lobster red. It hurt to wear clothes, it hurt to sleep, it hurt to shower, it hurt to breath. But a few days later, it was all worth it! I’m excited to report that I have now been comfortably lying beneath bright, warm UB lights for two weeks, and I have no more worries of burns and pain. (And my psoriasis is improving, in some areas.)

What’s my point? Well, today as I lay in that bed, rocking out to Kutless, I was also think, think, thinking on my recent verses from Ephesians.

That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height- to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.  –Ephesians 3:16-19 NKJV

What does this have to do with my tanning experience? EVERYTHING! I realized that the areas I kept covered; the parts of my body that hadn’t seen the light in so long; those parts that are carefully kept hidden; those are the areas that hurt the most when they finally ARE exposed to light. What area am I referring to? ANGER. FRUSTRATION. Oh how I have neglected to bring this struggle in my life into the light. I have kept it hidden. I have allowed it to fester and grow, and God was faithful to reveal this to me.

Here’s what my morning looked like:

I was attempting to look at and think on the words…  ‘being rooted and grounded in His love,’ ‘the width and length and depth and height,’ while at the same time getting the kids ready for school. I sent my son off to do the usual brush teeth/brush hair/apply deodorant. Ten minutes later I stepped into his room only to find him knelt on the floor, holding his tooth brush (toothpaste still intact), and reading directions on how to assemble a Lego structure. This is when all God’s love departed from me and I blew a fuse.

UGH. Yes, I failed to follow through on the love I had just been reading about. WHY CAN’T I JUST READ IT AND THEN GO DO IT!? WHY IS IT SO HARD!? If it is so easy for me to step out of LOVE, what then are my roots grounded in?! If anger pours out of me so quickly, that must mean it is sitting there, festering, and waiting for any opportunity to show its ugly face. And my poor kiddos are usually the ones to see it.  Oh how I want to love them as God loves them. I want to give them the unconditional love that He gives me, even when I deliberately disobey Him. His love has no bounds!

To be rooted and grounded in love requires a daily checking of ourselves. It requires me to expose my sins and struggles to the LIGHT each and every day. When I neglect to do this, my roots begin to sink themselves into everything but love, and I become grounded in a foundation that is weak, weary, and ready to tumble. After so long, exposure to the LIGHT hurts! It hurts when my wrath is let loose on my kids. It hurts knowing I must confess and apologize to my son. It hurts to see the anger I have hidden; the anger that keeps God’s love from strengthening my inner man. However, as soon we hear this Voice; as soon as the conviction sets in, and we proceed with confession and repentance, the process of bringing this sin into the LIGHT becomes less and less painful.

I am thankful for a God who sees those hidden sins of my heart; a God who is faithful to reveal these sins to me, and patiently waits for me to confess them and repent. He is a Fixer, and I am in need of being fixed.

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The Ways of the Sinner

Eve saw that the tree was good for food, and she coveted the wisdom it would bring her. She took and ate of its fruit, offering it to her husband also. She and Adam realized their naked state and attempted to hide it from God. Genesis 3:6-8

Cain saw that the Lord respected Abel’s offering and coveted that respect. Cain took his brother, Abel’s life, and attempted to hide his sin from God. Genesis 4:4-9

Joseph’s brothers saw that he was favored by their father and by the Lord (Genesis 37:4-8) and coveted that favor (Genesis 37:11). They attempted to take away that favor by selling him to Ishmaelite travelers. They killed a goat, dipping Joseph’s tunic in the blood in order to hide their sin from their father.

Achan, of the tribe of Judah, sinned before the Lord, bringing defeat and death upon the Israelites. He saw among the spoils a beautiful Babylonian garment, two hundred shekels of silver and a wedge of gold weighing fifty shekels, coveted them, took them, and hid them. Joshua 7:21

David saw Bathsheba, (a married woman), bathing on the roof of her house, and he coveted her beauty. He sent messengers to take her and then slept with her, resulting in an unexpected pregnancy. He attempted to hide his sin by orchestrating the murder of her husband and marrying her himself. 2Samuel 11

Are you seeing a pattern here? In each situation, the individual/s saw, coveted, took, and hid.

It doesn’t appear that sin is something we ‘fall’ into, but rather a series of conscious choices. It is an action that we have several opportunities to change, and the first opportunity presents itself the moment we lay eyes upon it. This is when we face two options: look upon it a little longer, or turn the other way and get out of dodge! Should we choose to linger, covetousness sets in and we must make a vital choice: give in to this desire and take what we know is not ours, or flee the temptation and head in the opposite direction (1 Timothy 6:11). If we give into desire, there remains a way of escape: bring it into the light by confessing our sin. However, when we allow sin to go this far, we begin to sear our conscience, and when our conscience is seared, hiding sin becomes oh so easy and logical (1 Timothy 4:2).

Not only does sin involve seeing, coveting, taking, and hiding, but also enticing others to sin with us (Genesis 3:6- She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate), casting blame for our sin rather than taking responsibility for our action (Genesis 3:12,13- “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate” and “The serpent deceived me and I ate.”), and flat out lying about our sin when confronted (Genesis 4:9 “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”).

We all choose sin and we all fall short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23). However, God offers grace to those who repent (Psalm 32:5). Unlike Adam and Eve, who were merely afraid of being naked and found out by God (Genesis 3:10), we must have a heart of true repentance, confessing our sin the moment we are convicted by it, receiving forgiveness, and choosing righteousness.

“If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”  Genesis 4:7

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Clean House

Wow, this whole blogging thing might be getting out of control! Ten seconds ago I was sweeping my neglected floors and had another ‘I have to stop everything I’m doing and blog about this!’ moment. (And I was worried about running out of things to say?) So, my kitchen is half swept and here I am, again. I anticipate my laptop vanishing, my hubby being responsible for the disappearance, as he comes home day after day to an unkept house with dirty floors and heaps of laundry. If I suddenly stop posting, you’ll know why!

Anyway, as I was attempting to please the hubby by clean, clean, cleaning, I was taken aback by things I had slowly grown blind to: the growing mass of mail on my microwave, the neighbor’s leaves covering my backyard, my son’s numerous drawings taped to the kitchen wall, the smudged fingerprints throughout every window and sliding glass door. When did all this happen? Surely when I went to bed last night the place was spotless!

Unfortunately this happens in our spiritual lives as well. Over time we begin to grow blind to the ‘stuff’ that has slowly crept in, to the invasion taking place: that movie or TV series, those secret novels, bitterness and resentment toward someone, lustful desires for another man or women, pride in ourselves and our works, impatience, the list goes on and on.

The funny thing is, we really never grow blind to these things in the lives of those around us. If you were to stop by, you would probably immediately take note of my mountainous collection of mail and unkept windows. Likewise, there’s a good chance you notice the sin in my life well before I see it myself. While you’re examining me, I am in Lala Land, thinking everything is organized and in shipshape. However, I am noticing how cluttered and chaotic your life is. (Not really, I actually find you all perfectly presentable with not a sin in the world! Haha!)

You see, unless we take time to examine ourselves, we will not only continue in blindness of our depleting state, but will begin to draw further and further from the One that wants to cleans us. The living and powerful Word of God is a discerner of our heart’s thoughts and intents (Heb 4:12). It is through God’s Word that this ‘stuff’ is revealed to us, as if looking into a mirror and realizing, ‘wow, when did that happen!’ (Jas 1:22-25). As a lamp to our feet and a light to our path, the Word cleanses our ways so that we may be righteous before Him (Ps 119:9,105). It is when we are not looking into it daily, letting it reflect upon us, that we so easily fall prey to the bondage of sin and self-righteousness.

So, before I come knocking on your door, pointing out the speck in your eye, I am going to take time with God’s Word, asking Him to do some house cleaning and remove the plank from my eye (Matt 7:3-5). You better do the same, because I will be stopping by soon! Now, go get some housework done!

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and

spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner

of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

-Hebrews 4:12

Hidden Beneath

Is this a familiar sight? Please say yes. Please say I’m not the only one with mold consistently seeping through the paint on my bathroom walls. Tell me it’s in your bathroom too! We’ve painted over it, scrubbed it down with bleach (several times), made sure to run the fan and open the window during showers, it just keeps seeping through. And, truth be told, it’s embarrassing! Whenever company drops in I think, “I hope they don’t have to use the bathroom, I haven’t scrubbed the mold away lately.” Is that not ridiculous? I can’t even believe I’m telling you this! You are never allowed in my bathroom again.

What is more ridiculous is the fact that I do this constantly regarding the sin in my own life. I will paint over it, making it look as if it’s not there. I will attempt to scrub, scrub, scrub it away, leaving the impression of a clean, pure self. But on the inside, there it is, lurking, waiting to seep out. I desperately hope it doesn’t succeed when you come around. Oh yes, when I’m with you, I am sure to wear the freshest coat of paint! When I’m with my kiddos, now that’s a different story. Just as they catch sight of our moldy bathroom walls countless times each day, they also get to see the sin in me that so easily seeps out when I’m not on guard (Heb 12:1).

I once heard it told this way: You’re driving down the road, you hit a pothole, and your scolding hot coffee goes spewing all over the crotch of your pants. Immediately profanities come flying out of your mouth. Why did you just say those words? Was it the fault of the pothole? No, it was the coffee’s fault; if it hadn’t been so darn hot…. No, actually it was Starbuck’s fault for selling you such hot coffee- I see a lawsuit in the near future. Ridiculous, right! We all know those words came out of your mouth not because of a pothole, or the coffee, or the establishment that brewed it. Those words came out of your mouth simply because they were there to start with! That mold seeps through paint only because it is already in the wall. I cannot blame it on the shower’s steam, or the horrid fumes that are released in that room (and believe me, they are horrid!). No, it is simply that the mold is within the walls, growing, and waiting to show it’s ugliness! And the only way to be rid of it, is to rip out that wall. UGH. And this is something I am not doing any time soon.

However, I must attack the sin in my life immediately. I must rip it out! Jesus said if your foot causes you to sin, then cut it off because it is better to enter Heaven with one foot than to live eternity without Him with two. He said if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out! It’s better to spend eternity with Him in Heaven with one eye than to end up in Hell with both (Mark 9:45,47). Jesus takes sin seriously. Ought we to also. Praise God that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleans us from all unrighteousness (1Jn 1:9). When circumstances expose the ugly sins of your life, don’t cast blame, or attempt to cover them up, simply confess them to your Savior J

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.

~Hebrews 12:1