What am I building in my children? What do I hope to instill in them now and in the future? I suppose the answers can vary from one child to the next and from one season to another, depending on the battles they’re fighting and the lessons they’re learning.
Korrie, I’m thinking about you today! Been thinking about you all morning as a matter of fact. Some day, when you have children of your own, you’re going to look back on these years and understand why your mother was such a lunatic. Some day you will watch your own children walk through these same flames and say, “Wow, how did my mamma do that?” Some day you will spend all day thinking about your child and praying because in those flames, that’s all you’ll be able to do. And some day you will reflect on these moments and thank God for such a wonderful mamma (ok, you may never do that last one, but I can certainly hope, right! J)
I know you had a rough morning and you know I tried to encourage you, telling you not to cry, telling you “EVERYTHING’S GONNA BE OKAY, KORRIE!” But I know you didn’t believe me. That’s alright; I have to say it anyways because in the end, everything WILL be okay.
After you worked so hard, putting everything you had into that silly project, I knew you were proud of yourself. I could see the satisfaction of a job well done (even though you waited ‘til the last minute… yea, that whole procrastination thing…. sorry about that… I would have much rather passed on my love for shoes, handbags, or french manicures… but it turns out you got none of that). You not only completed the task, you completed it well! I love seeing that in you! Remember the poem we used to quote over and over when you were little:
All that you do, do with your might.
Things done by halves, are never done right.
I think there was more to it, but I recall reinforcing those specific words year after year. So after you put everything you had into it, and then you dropped it on hard, cold concrete, I know you thought the world stopped spinning. There was glass everywhere, a missing moth, and several insects now without adequate legs and body parts. Um….. are you sure insects can’t have just four legs? Looking back now, you know what I love about this whole ordeal? YOU!
What’s important to me? What do I seek to build in you? What do I desire to watch God teach you? Character. That’s my answer in this season for you. I’ve listened to you cry. I’ve watched your tears of frustration, and ached as you’ve dealt with hurt feelings, and learned from your own poor choices. I’ve watched you turn in repentance and begin to come willingly to a God and a mom who loves and supports you. I am seeing you laugh and love and enjoy these years! Your teenage years!
So when you freak out and get upset because your project is ruined and you’re bound to get a failing grade, I rejoice! I rejoice that you care enough to freak out and get so upset. I rejoice that you’re real enough to let the tears fall. I know how impossible it is at times to have such strong emotions over the smallest of things (again, this mama is guilty for passing that one on), but please don’t forget that God gave you those emotions. He has bestowed in you a heart that cares about your grades; a heart that sees another in pain and aches as they ache; a heart that questions her own actions when a friend lashes out on you for no apparent reason; a heart that reflects a Creator who loves you passionately and unconditionally. And that love He has for you- it does not cease when you turn in a dismantled insect project- because that love is a love like no other; a love you cannot earn; a love you cannot lessen; a love that is not moved or shaken by any storm or flame you encounter.
Remember Korrie, in this world, you are guaranteed trials. You WILL walk through flames and storms. The question is, how will you come out on the other side? What or who will your character reflect? Trials are ok! And in the midst of those trials, never forget that “EVERYTHING’S GONNA BE OKAY, KORRIE!” Because He’s got you in the palm of His hand, He knows the beginning from the end, His plans for you are perfect, and this mom supports you. Always!
The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord,
Like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes.
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