Friday, February 15, 2013


I saw today’s prompt from Lisa-Jo Baker and I couldn’t not write.

It was a challenge I didn’t accept quickly. I couldn’t recall ever reading anything like it in the scriptures and it almost felt like a way to test God. Plus, I was a little scared and unsure. “Ask God to give you one word. Ask Him who you are,” She said. “When you are truly seeking Him, He will answer you, and He won’t allow the enemy to be involved in this conversation.” Hmmmmm, I wasn’t so sure about that. Plus, did I really want to know what HE thought of me?

 I lay there, alone, scared- no, frightened. Who am I Lord? The answer came before I even voiced the entire question. Like He’s been waiting for it… waiting to tell me who I was. Waiting for me to ask. Knowing eventually I would.


At the beginning of your supplications the command went out, and I have come to tell you, for you are greatly beloved.   Daniel 9:23

It was so clear and so heavy and so real I wasn’t sure how to respond. And my reply was so typical, because when my husband tells me how wonderful I am, how beautiful I am, I think of all those times he made his own dinner and of the large rolls hanging over my denim jeans. Wonderful? Beautiful? Beloved?

And when a friend compliments me and tells me how special I am; that I am a friend to be trusted; that I am missed and worth missing, I deny it to myself and throw insults and condemnations. They obviously don’t know this woman very well. I’ve tricked them all into believing the lie.

But the truth is they know me all too well. They know my struggles and they know my pain and they know my failures, and they knowingly love me. My husband married a woman almost sixteen years ago because of a mistake. He stays married to her because he knows her inside and out and cherishes what she has become despite the mistakes.

My Lord knew me before I was formed and decided to work amid the mistakes and the questions and the doubts and make me pure, spotless, beloved.
It is me who has believed the lie. I am beloved and I choose to be loved.

Lisa-Jo offers the challenge week after week: take a measly five minutes and write. No over thinking, no backtracking, no ‘wait, that’s not spiritual enough, and I can’t share that in cyber city’ mentality. Only writing. Writing for five minutes and risking the outcome. This week’s prompt- BELOVED

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  1. Wow! We're sort of on the same wavelength here. I almost blew this week off because I was all, "I can't DO this." I am such a whiner.

    I'm glad you posted this. Seriously, I know exactly how you feel about thinking you've got people fooled. It's easy to be awesome online, when no one can see I haven't dusted in a month and no one can tell I forgot where I put my mascara. (How many places could it BE, for crying out loud?!?)

    There's just something weirdly comforting in knowing I'm not alone--that someone else struggles. That it's not just because I'M a hot mess, but that there's a real enemy of our souls who is NOT on my side, or yours!

    Isn't it god to know that no matter how craptastic we feel, we're still beloved? That is truth.

    1. And that is one of the many reasons we blog, right? So that we might encourage one another and fully believe we are not along, but that are struggles, doubts, fears, insecurities, and dusty homes are common among women. We are all hot messes, so let's be hot messes together, right! Thanks for visiting, pioneercynthia!

  2. Awesome, Steph. Way to overcome the lying voice! I think we all struggle inside with these thoughts, and struggle to believe truth about ourselves. I would never flatter you - you ARE precious and gifted and beloved.

    1. Tresta, you are one of the faithful who know me, yet love me; who enspire me, and push me, and remind me that it's worth pressing on, even when staring at the reflection of imperfection. Today I was blessed in the word and reminded that HE WORKS IN US! It's never our work, because yeah, we are simply unable. But He loves us and uses us and is blessed to see that work of His through us. Thanks for not flattering me, and always keepin it real, Friend!


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