Saturday, December 17, 2011

Rejection and Healing Grace

Rejected. Disqualified. Undesirable. Unwanted. Lacking. Disappointing. Not good enough. Why, oh why am I here again? And so soon! Why do I continue to find my identity in things and other people? Why do I persist in setting myself up for failure and disappointment? My expectations are all wrong. I hate that I am dealing with this issue again. I am frustrated in myself for allowing it. Yet, here I am.

Truth is, I know God loves me unconditionally, and I think I know wholeheartedly that He has my best interest in mind. He’s not the one I doubt. It’s those around me that I struggle with. When others disappoint me, or when I feel like I have failed them, I KNOW without a doubt that I can rely on my trustworthy God. When I disappoint myself because I fail to meet my own expectations, He remains the same no matter my circumstances. This is what I will take comfort in, the sole thing that will keep me moving, keep me writing, and keep me grounded. I must keep my eyes on Him.

Once again I am soothed and reassured by the only One who really understands me. He reminds me that not only was He rejected, despised, misunderstood, and unwanted, but that He sufficiently fulfills all my needs and understands these struggles in my life because He encountered them Himself. Yet, He was without sin and blameless while I am sinful and full of blame. Even so, even as He sees my heart and my failures, He covers me with His unfailing love, compassion, kindness, and care.  And this is where I will sit. This is what I will let devour me. I will wait here in this place until His perfect love consumes the rejection that eats me up. I will be still and allow His healing power to incinerate those desires and feelings in me that are not of Him. I am reminded of those words to the song and I cry out “empty me Lord, and fill me with You!”

You may not be aware of the fact that as I write, I pray that my words might comfort and encourage you. I pray that my words would be His words and He would speak into your situation and bring healing. What you also may not know is that He does that very thing with me. Just in this short amount of time I have spent here, talking with Him and sharing with you, a measure of grace is being poured out upon me and I am being restored. And I am thankful. I am thankful that He speaks to me, chastens me, gives me words to share, allows me to share with you, and restores and encourages me the whole time. I am unworthy, yes, but He is in the habit of using such as me. And I am humbled.

If you are burdened today, please allow yourself to be filled with the only One who truly fills. Be filled with Jesus and His unconditional, perfect love today.

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with
our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are,
yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the
throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy
and find grace to help in time of need.
-Hebrews 4:15-16 (NKJV)


  1. Oh, Stephanie, I don't know what is discouraging you today, but know that your words have been a measure of grace to me. I will pray peace for you and trust in Him as you lean back and let Him pour His love down over you. I don't know what you're struggling with, but your words reminded me a little of the way my own thoughts go sometimes, when I start seeing more of my sins and less of my God. I hope these help some:

    Grace and peace to you as you seek Him today! Blessings,

  2. Such understanding and encouragement from a stranger :) Yet, you aren't really a stranger are you? Haha! You have become a friend. Thanks for your posts. And thanks for your prayers. God bless you Joy.

  3. Thank you so much for this encouragement, Stephanie! I rely so much upon the opinions of others. The moment I think I have disappointed someone or that someone does not like me for any reason, I'm hurt and discouraged. And that's such a hard role to fill... trying to be everybody's cup of tea. I'm trying so hard to break this habit.
    Most recently though, I've seen my sins more and more and am continually aware of my failure before God... I feel completely unworthy for His service. And it's discouraging. But He has been teaching me and assuring me of His love... and bringing me to posts such as this. So thank you for being His vessel and using your words (and His) to encourage others. :) God bless you and comfort your heart. :)

  4. There is just something about letting it all out that brings healing. I suppose the words of James- confess your tresspasses to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed- are truer than true for me lately. Not only does confession bring healing to the confesser, but also to those receiving the confession... What a relief to know that there are others who understand and can relate. Thanks for stopping by, RachelAllison and for your encouraging comment. God blesses me daily through His word and His people :)


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