When Passion Brings Pain

A unique process takes place as we consume and digest foods. They enter into our bodies and bloodstreams, and soak into our pores. The good and bad are filtered and separated, and put to proper use in these bodies. I have no idea how it all works. I simply know it does. The food we digest becomes a part of us.

So it is with the Words of God. As we read them, think on them, meditate on them, read them again, and again, the power of the Word takes residence within us. When this process has begun, a change happens: we become one with the Word; the Word becomes one with us. It all sounds so christianees and religiously scandalous, I know. 

But I also know it to be fact. I know because I've experienced it. I have experienced a true passion and desire for God's Word. There are times I want to consume it more than anything; days I want spent doing nothing but soaking it in and digesting piece-by-piece. The only comparison I can make is the passionate need and yearning we have for loved ones. Those times you want to squeeze your child and never let go. When you need your spouse like you've never needed anyone. When the sight of your sleeping child stirs such an inner awareness of love that you can't pull yourself away. You wish the whole world could experience this moment. 

How do we restrain such affection? And do we really want to? Aren't these the true-life moments we live for? Isn't this what makes life worth living? And isn't this the smallest glimpse of God's inconceivable love for us? Oh how He desires to hold me for eternity. I know He looks at me as I look at my own sleeping child- in all that purity and transparency- and feels only love and adoration; a desire for nothing less than oneness.

Unfortunately, this passion comes at a price: guaranteed pain. And I'm not talking about small needle-prick pain, but terrible pain which pierces deep, leaving lasting scars. I feel it when my child is ridiculed and rejected. When my husband is misunderstood, unfairly judged, or taken advantage of. It would be crazy to say my own heart shouldn't ache with anger and sorrow simply because the offense wasn't directed at me. Just because it's not happening to me personally doesn't mean it's not happening to one that is personally mine. And I hurt as if I were the one ridiculed and misjudged. And I know I'm not alone in this cruel world of callousness and hate.

And so as a mother, daughter, or spouse, you must know the grief, anguish, and tortured pain I feel when my God is blasphemed, ridiculed, rejected, and when the very Words of His mouth are misunderstood, or used against Him. My Lord and His Word are a part of me. I have no other way to describe it except to say that when a loved one hurts, I hurt with them. And oh how I love God and His Word.

Your words were found, and I ate them,

And Your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart;

For I am called by Your name,

O Lord God of hosts.  ~Jeremiah 15:16

Call it crazy and heretical, but God is a real, living, breathing Person- a Person that feels true joy, pain, and sorrow. This Person- He's living in me, abiding in me, making His home in me!!! And when He is hurt, oh how I feel that pain- pain as if inflicted upon myself; it's deep, it's raw, and it's real. For in Him I live and move and have my being.

I have treasured the words of His mouth

More than my necessary food.  ~Job 23:12

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