Christ in the Chaos

The last couple weeks have been anything but orderly and structured. No, they have been something closer to chaotic. Most days I didn’t even know what day it was, and I was pretty content with that. We enjoyed staying up far too late and sleeping the morning away. Meals were “fend for yourself” and chores- nonexistent. The kids were ecstatic, the hubby patient, and me, well I have been just plain lazy.

It’s not easy to admit this, knowing anyone could read, and most of you would never allow your home to dwell in such chaos. However, I speak of it openly to you for a couple of reasons:

1. I desire to be transparent. I try to share not only the good, praiseworthy areas of my home and family, but also the difficult unmentionables that truly are a part of this family’s everyday life.

2. I suspect there to be at least one (probably more) wives and moms out there feeling the same way I do today, and a large focus of this site is to better enable us to relate with and encourage one another, knowing we are not alone in our daily struggles (1 Cor10:13).

3. Falling short, having a sink full of dishes, unswept floors (my computer says unswept is not a word. It hasn’t seen my floors), piles of laundry, ignoring bed times, and serving unhealthy meals does not affect our righteousness (which is of Christ and not ourselves), or our salvation (Eph 2:8-9).

How easy it is to for me to get caught up in self righteousness when all is orderly and under control. It is equally tempting to shower myself with self condemnation when I look around and see nothing but chaos. Maybe we can take Paul’s encouragement to the Philippians to learn to be content in whatever state they find themselves in (Phil 4:11-13) and apply that to our lives as moms, wives, and homemakers. No matter the state of my house, Christ is Christ, His salvation remains, and I am His.

With that said, I must get out of the hole I have stumbled into, and this is what I am intentionally choosing today. Chaos cannot separate Christ’s love or salvation already imparted to me (Rom 8:38-39), however it greatly affects my relationship with my hubby and kids and my ability to serve and minister to others. I will ask for His strength, cling to that strength, and move forward. He is a God of grace and unfailing love, however He is also a God of order and after two weeks of mayhem, I crave the peace which comes from structured order.  I suspect my hubby and kiddos do too.

If you find yourself in this same predicament, don’t let these feelings of failure hold you captive and immovable. Start where you are and move forward from there. If you are in sin, confess, repent, and receive forgiveness along with the grace to forget those things which are behind and reach forward to that which lies ahead (Phil 3:13).

Now I’m off. I have some work to do J How about you?

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A Proud Parent

Got to watch Korrie play a great game of basketball today! She had some sweet shots, amazing passes, a trained eye for the court, and phenomenal team work. So very proud to call her my daughter! What parent wouldn’t be? They won the game 32-18, but not without shedding a few tears. On the way home we talked about her obvious disappointment. Isn’t it amazing that she walked away feeling like she let herself, her coach, and her team down! My heart broke as she talked about her frustration of passing the ball to the other team and knowing she could have done better.

Even now, just an hour after the game, I sense the heaviness she is carrying as she relaxes at home on the couch. I long to say the things that would make her believe what an amazing job she did. I yearn to bear that heaviness for her so she could bask in the excitement of the win! I want her to comprehend just how proud I am of her, how far she’s come, what a remarkable young lady she is growing up to be, what a gifted basketball player she is. However, I am learning as a mom that even though I tell her these things over and over again, it’s going to take time for her to accept and understand them as truth. It’s going to take time for her to let go of her mistakes enough to believe the love and words of her mother. And I will give her that time.

Being a parent is tough! Being a parent requires responsibilities I am often unable to fulfill. Being a parent is also the greatest gift God has bestowed upon me. I cannot begin to express how unworthy and incapable I am for such a high calling! I also cannot tell Him enough how thankful I am.  One thing parenting is teaching me: my Heavenly Father loves me more than I ever dreamed! The love and pride I have for my children doesn’t even compare to His love for me; His pride for this apple of His eye (Psalm 17:8). Just as I long for my daughter to let go of her own disappointments and receive the love I have for her, My Father longs for me to walk in His love; to be confident that He is a proud Papa!

One night years ago, as I watched my girl sleep, overwhelmed with love for her, a sense came over me that my Father was doing the same- toward me. And I was stunned! Thank you, Father for Your unchanging, unconditional, perfect love toward me. I do not grasp or understand it completely, but I know You ALWAYS love me. Please help me to show my children the love of God.