Rooted and Grounded

For years I have suffered from what was first diagnosed as dry skin, then eczema, and now psoriasis. I have tried creams, medications, bi-weekly injections, even a gluten free diet. Each came with promises of a miracle cure; each left me disappointed, scaling, and flaky (Yes, I’m guilty of THAT kind of flaky too).  My new attempt at conquering the chronic wintery skin- solar lights. Yep, a good old fake-n-bake tanning bed! Of course, my dermatologist offers ‘medically approved’ solar treatments for a substantial fee several times a week. Um, how about I pay only $30 a month and get me some summer color in the middle of February instead!? Sounds like the best choice to me!

Can you picture it? Reclined in a brightly lit, WARM, coffin like container (did I mention it was incredibly WARM?), sweating my buns off (and hopefully my thighs too), with nothing else to do but think, think, think. I began to wonder what would happen to those areas- you know, the ones that hadn’t seen the sun in years. Uh oh, maybe I didn’t think this through very well. The next day I realized just what a bad idea it was. Now, let me clarify, I’m only referring to my stomach and back. The other areas, the unmentionables, those I won’t even consider baring to UV lights. My stomach, which hadn’t seen that kind of light since pre-kid days, a decade and a half ago, was lobster red. It hurt to wear clothes, it hurt to sleep, it hurt to shower, it hurt to breath. But a few days later, it was all worth it! I’m excited to report that I have now been comfortably lying beneath bright, warm UB lights for two weeks, and I have no more worries of burns and pain. (And my psoriasis is improving, in some areas.)

What’s my point? Well, today as I lay in that bed, rocking out to Kutless, I was also think, think, thinking on my recent verses from Ephesians.

That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height- to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.  –Ephesians 3:16-19 NKJV

What does this have to do with my tanning experience? EVERYTHING! I realized that the areas I kept covered; the parts of my body that hadn’t seen the light in so long; those parts that are carefully kept hidden; those are the areas that hurt the most when they finally ARE exposed to light. What area am I referring to? ANGER. FRUSTRATION. Oh how I have neglected to bring this struggle in my life into the light. I have kept it hidden. I have allowed it to fester and grow, and God was faithful to reveal this to me.

Here’s what my morning looked like:

I was attempting to look at and think on the words…  ‘being rooted and grounded in His love,’ ‘the width and length and depth and height,’ while at the same time getting the kids ready for school. I sent my son off to do the usual brush teeth/brush hair/apply deodorant. Ten minutes later I stepped into his room only to find him knelt on the floor, holding his tooth brush (toothpaste still intact), and reading directions on how to assemble a Lego structure. This is when all God’s love departed from me and I blew a fuse.

UGH. Yes, I failed to follow through on the love I had just been reading about. WHY CAN’T I JUST READ IT AND THEN GO DO IT!? WHY IS IT SO HARD!? If it is so easy for me to step out of LOVE, what then are my roots grounded in?! If anger pours out of me so quickly, that must mean it is sitting there, festering, and waiting for any opportunity to show its ugly face. And my poor kiddos are usually the ones to see it.  Oh how I want to love them as God loves them. I want to give them the unconditional love that He gives me, even when I deliberately disobey Him. His love has no bounds!

To be rooted and grounded in love requires a daily checking of ourselves. It requires me to expose my sins and struggles to the LIGHT each and every day. When I neglect to do this, my roots begin to sink themselves into everything but love, and I become grounded in a foundation that is weak, weary, and ready to tumble. After so long, exposure to the LIGHT hurts! It hurts when my wrath is let loose on my kids. It hurts knowing I must confess and apologize to my son. It hurts to see the anger I have hidden; the anger that keeps God’s love from strengthening my inner man. However, as soon we hear this Voice; as soon as the conviction sets in, and we proceed with confession and repentance, the process of bringing this sin into the LIGHT becomes less and less painful.

I am thankful for a God who sees those hidden sins of my heart; a God who is faithful to reveal these sins to me, and patiently waits for me to confess them and repent. He is a Fixer, and I am in need of being fixed.

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Creative Book Report

I won’t attempt to take credit for this project, since it was assigned by my 5^th grade son’s teacher. However, because he had so much fun with this assignment (and what child ENJOYS book reports?!), I decided I just had to share! This is the

The assignment was fairly simple-

1.       Complete a book containing at least 125 pages. (My son chose The Call of the Wild by Jack London.)

2.       Completely cover a cereal box with paper.

3.       Create a fun cereal name that reflects your book and decorate the front of your box. (My son decided to name his cereal Wild Buck Wheaties. So creative, I know!)

4.       Decorate the top of your box with the Title, Author, and Illustrator of your book.

5.       Decorate the bottom of your box with your name and date. (My son added a box top!)

6.       Fill the sides of your cereal box with fun facts about the book. Be original! We laughed as my son inserted some comical statements here:

AMAZING NUTRIENTS!

Vitamin A for AWESOME

Vitamin B for BREATHTAKING
Vitamin C for COOL

Vitamin D for DARING

Serving size- 1 ton of Action

Side Effects May Include:

Uncontrollable Hunger,

Midnight Howling,

Sharpening of the Teeth,

& Rapid Hair Growth

Disclaimer:

(Eat at your own risk)

(Not liable for Dog-Like Behavior)

7.       And finally, write a thorough summary of your book including the plot, setting, and main characters.

Isn’t this a great idea? Joey thought so, and so did his mom! J

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Abortion

Abortion.   Pro-life.   Pro-choice.

These words stir up so many emotions. Do you feel it? Is that passion growing within as you look at those three words? Most people, Christians and non-Christians, religious and non-religious, have strong feelings about this issue. As you may expect, pictures like the one below (posted on Facebook by a Pro-life group known for their controversial anti-abortion 180 Movie) receive heaps of responses both agreeing and disagreeing with the image.

Click here to view this picture on Facebook.

At this moment, it has gained over 350 comments- some in favor and, of course, some against the opinions and ideas of Pro-life thinking. As many of you probably know, I’m against abortion; I’m Pro-life all the way. No, I’ve never chosen the path of abortion myself, although it was strongly presented to me at the age of 18 when I became pregnant with my now 14 year old. I have not walked the path of abortion that so many have.  However, one commenter has, and it is her story I want to share with you today. Her name is Christina, and this is her powerful response, word for word, to another commenter named Michelle. Christina shares HOPE. HOPE. Not only for those considering abortion, but for those living day after day with the consequences of an irrevocable choice; A permanent choice that cannot be changed- the choice to terminate a pregnancy and kill an unborn child- the choice of abortion.

“Sorry u feel that way Michelle-I was raped, by two men, tortured and burned and got pregnant. I decided against abortion because it wasn't the baby fault, he didn't ask to be born. I did however, decide on adoption and I can tell u that baby is now 24 years old, he loves the Lord and is a wonderful musician and has just released his first album.y is now 24 years old, he loves the Lord and is a wonderful musician and has just released his first album. He has wonderful parents whom I was able to choose for him they couldn't have children of their own and he was very wanted and loved. Today, we have a good relationship and I am getting to know him and his wife of just under a year. God can take something that satan meant for harm and turn it around and use it to glorify His name as well as, giving that baby a good life. On the flip side of things, I had an abortion after my drug addicted husband decided that drugs were more important than our family-we split up because I wasn't going to raise my two children in that kind of envioronment and I also found out that he had gotten another woman pregnant-so when I found out that I was going to have another baby with this person that was still my husband, I got angry put God in the back seat and told him since I was going to be a single parent and was trying my best to support my two kids that I was not going to have another baby to take care of by myself. So I did it and afterwards I realized that I had taken an innocent life and that I didn't deserve to live but my gracious Heavenly Father forgave me of my sin(because taking an innocent human life is a sin)and he brought me back from the brink of suicide. I still think on my children, who are now grown and the little brother or sister that they would of had and I know that he or she is in heaven with my Lord and I'll have the chance someday to see that child. It not just that simple Michelle to have an abortion and get back to business as usual it rips u up inside down to ur very soul and thank God he's there to pick up the pieces otherwise I know I wouldn't be here right now telling u this. When ur thinkiing about having an abortion it's not one life at stake, it's two because you'll never be the same again if you don't have Jesus to forgive and help make it right. To many women in this world resort to suicide because they can't handle what they've done. I thank Jesus everyday that He died on the cross for my sins and thru His shed blood He washed away my sins and has given me another chance. He's made my life new again. I'm truly sorry u feel the way u do, but u don't have to. I believe that God takes abortion personally because He loves each an He has wonderful parents whom I was able to choose for him they couldn’t have children of their own and he was very wanted and loved. Today, we have a good relationship and I am getting to know him and his wife of just under a year. God can take something that satan meant for harm and turn it around and use it to glorify His name as well as, giving that baby a good life. On the flip side of things, I had an abortion after my drug addicted husband decided that drugs were more important than our family- we split up because I wasn’t going to raise my two children in that kind of environment and I also found that he had gotten another woman pregnant- so when I found out that I was going to have another baby with this person that was still my husband, I got angry put God in the back seat and told him since I was going to be a single parent and was trying my best to support my two kids that I was not going to have another baby to take care of by myself. So I did it and afterwards realized that I had taken an innocent life and that I didn’t deserve to live but my gracious Heavenly Father forgave me of my sin(because taking an innocent human life is a sin) and he brought me back from the brink of suicide. I still think on my children, who are now grown and the little brother or sister that they would have had and I know that he or she is in heaven with my Lord and I’ll have the chance someday to see that child. It not just that simple Michelle to have an abortion and get back to business as usual it rips u up inside down to ur very soul and thank God he’s there to pick up the pieces otherwise I know I wouldn’t be here right now telling u this. When ur thinkiing about having an abortion it’s not one life at stake, it’s two because you’ll never be the same again if you don’t have Jesus to forgive and help make it right. To many women in this world resort to suicide because they can’t handle what they’ve done. I thank Jesus everyday that He died on the cross for my sins and thru His shed blood He washed away my sins and has given me another chance. He’s made my life new again. I’m truly sorry u feel the way u do, but u don’t have to. I believe that God takes abortion personally because He loves each and every one of us.” ~Christina

Are you facing the idea of abortion? Are you struggling to ” get back to business as usual,”  but finding life impossible because of your past decision for abortion? Christina shares a HOPE that she has received from Jesus Christ. This HOPE is avaliable to you today whether you are considering abortion, or suffering the consequences of abortion. Do you need some HOPE?

”When ur thinkiing about having an abortion it’s not one life at stake, it’s two because you’ll never be the same again if you don’t have Jesus to forgive and help make it right.”

For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

~Psalm 139:13-16

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LOVE

I speak with tongues of angels

I share a prophecy

My faith is moving mountains

I know His sovereignty

I understand all mysteries

The things concealed from sight

I give my all to those without

I pray throughout the night

My works are in the name of Christ

I labor for His sake

My patience is enduring

I expose those not awake

I persevere for Him alone

I know by heart His word

I keep the letter of the Law

His precepts I have heard

And then He speaks those words to me

The truth I ought to heed

He whispers and convicts my heart

He knows just what I need 

“You’ve labored and you’ve toiled

You’ve worked your life throughout

You’ve countered those against Me

My work you’ve been about”

“I know the places you have gone

I’ve heard your countless prayers

I know the thoughts you think my dear

I know your every hair”

“Your prophecies will fail

Your tongues will cease to be

Your knowledge, it will vanish

You are nothing without Me”

“Remember from where you’ve fallen

And set your eyes above

The thing you have forgotten

Is Me, your first LOVE”

This Valentine’s Day, let’s remember who LOVE is. GOD IS LOVE and He is all we need. Let’s check our hearts, examine our works, and cling to our first LOVE, Jesus Christ. If you’ve forgotten your first LOVE, repent and do the first works. Let’s imitate Him, and walk in LOVE.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.    1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY  ~From the Wafers

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The Silver Lining

I don’t mean to be a Debby Downer going on and on about my family’s struggles and heartaches, but let’s face it, life is hard, and sometimes we need to know that it’s just as hard for others as well.  We also need to glimpse that silver lining; to know that somewhere in what seems an impossible, unrelenting tempest, there’s hope, and light is shining through those dark clouds.

Lately I’ve been walking one of the most difficult paths, facing a storm whose strength is unlike any other I have encountered. The waves are crashing in, knocking me down, taking every ounce of joy, comfort, and life I possess; leaving me exhausted and sorrowful. This storm- seeing my girl face life for the first time.

I can’t bear to see the wounds! I can’t endure the pain she’s facing! I want to take every tear, every disappointment, every moment of loneliness, and carry it for her! But I can’t, and this scares me.

As we sat quietly, listening to her share, and cry, and cry some more, I couldn’t help but weep myself. It was such a relief to see her finally open up. What a blessing to hear the heart of my baby girl. But it tore me in half listening to the pain. She’s hurting! She’s facing life’s struggles, and those struggles are no longer as simple as choosing which cereal to eat for breakfast or what color to paint her nails. My girl is encountering trials, and these trials are not short lived, but will continue to challenge her for years to come.

Where’s the silver lining here? These struggles she’s facing- I’ve faced them time and again. The loneliness she’s experiencing- I’ve experienced it so often myself. Those feelings of hopelessness; that sense of being alone and having no one who can relate- I know that feeling! I can empathize with my daughter’s season of sadness because I have faced these seasons myself; and this is my silver lining.

However, a fourteen year old struggles to find comfort in her mother’s wisdom or in the fact that Jesus Christ faced similar trials and felt similar pain. I have no magic words that will wipe away the hurt or shorten the storm. I cannot take away the grief, lessen the sorrow, or remove her from the trial. What I can do is be there to listen, remind her that she’s loved, and pray with her and for her. I have set an alarm on my phone at a precise time each day; at a time when my girl faces her struggles; at a time I anticipate God will speak to her, comfort her, and use her to reach out to others.

I’m here for you. I’m listening to your struggles. I feel your pain. I am praying you through this. I love you <3

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It's Too Stinkin Hard

It’s the hills that bring on the ‘stinkin thinkin.’ It’s the difficult, seemingly impossible parts of the trail that beg me to give in, give up, and collapse in utter defeat. The hubby decided we’d take a new route this morning and I am all about change, because I rapidly grow tired of my ordinary, dull surroundings. In the first 12 years of our marriage, we moved 12 times. The act of rounding up boxes (you’d think I would have learned to keep them around), packing, relocating, and unpacking was dreadful EACH AND EVERY TIME, but I always anticipated the change.

I’m not the type that has an hourly or even daily schedule. I don’t require order, I usually clean when I think someone might be stopping by, I wait until 6:00 or 7:00 (pm) to decide what’s for dinner (um, pizza?), and I leave clothes in the drying far too long. Ok, I do insist the towels are folded just so, but that’s about the extent of my OCD, on most days anyway. I’m not one to make a schedule, follow a schedule, or even desire a schedule. This may be the result of walking side by side with women who live by the schedule, trying to follow their wonderful example, failing time and again, only to drown in self condemnation.  Nope, I thrive on living for the moment and I welcome change because so many of my unplanned moments are just plain dull. And now I have digressed….

As we jogged away from the house and began a new course, I was slightly anxious about the unknown, yet excited about the change of pace. After only a few minutes, we began the difficult, slow trek up a dreaded hill. I try to avoid hills at all costs, yet here I was.  Thanks, hunny. Already the ‘stinkin thinking’ began its course; “I’m out of shape, I can’t do this hill.” “How far is he going to run?! I’ll never make it back home at this rate.” However, I countered with (insert something witty to counter stinkin thinkin) “This isn’t the worst hill ever.”“All I have to do is make it to the top.” And I could see the top! It wasn’t that far way and I rationalized that it must be downhill or at least level ground from there. And I was right. Well almost right. We did get an effortless, downhill breather, but it was short lived, as I glimpsed an even steeper, longer, more exaggerated hill just a few brief moments away. I was doomed. We had already gone two excruciating miles ascending the Myrtle Creek terrain, and I couldn’t fathom pushing myself even harder.

This was the moment of do or die. I envisioned myself sprawled out in defeat, flat on my back, attempting to suck in air, in the midst of a narrow, yet well traveled side road, being squashed by an oncoming car. I was forced to either let myself collapse, or push it even harder. So I pushed, and pushed, and pushed, and pushed. Finally, we rounded the top of the hill, overcoming defeat, only to encounter yet another larger, steeper, impossible incline. In the end we pushed it all the way. We didn’t stop. We didn’t slow. We didn’t give in, or give up. Not until we made it back home. Ahhhhh, home! And the feeling of accomplishment and success.

Lately, I have been running, walking, no mostly crawling up hill after hill after hill. It seems that each hill I conquer offers only another steeper, harder, more impossible hill. And right now, forget the hills, I’m climbing a mountain and my fingers are slipping and I feel I’m about to fall headlong into the vast chasm of defeat. It seems hopeless, yet I continue pushing, clawing, grasping for anything that will help me reach the top of this impossible mount. Most days, the summit is beyond my scope of sight and my faith begins to diminish.  Some days I glimpse the coming peak, gaining confidence, and an ability not of myself. And once in a while I actually climb over that impossible mountain only to come face to face to an even larger, more unbearable mount, covered in thorns that scrape, bruise, and scar.

Even so, I thank God for each and every step. I thank Him that I can’t see the larger hills ahead which might only prevent me from climbing the one I’m currently ascending. I thank Him that He puts me in a place where I must rely on Him and His strength or be crushed in my own defeat. I thank Him that the summit ahead offers relief, even if for only a minute second. I thank Him that no matter how steep and rugged the mountain may be, I will overcome it because He already has. His strength is manifested in my weakness, and I am so weak! I want to give up. I want to turn around and walk off that hill. I want to! However, I must round peak after peak after peak after peak. I must push, grasp, and not give up. And right now I MUST NOT focus on the upcoming mountains. I know this one is preparing me for what I am not capable of accepting or climbing. His ways are perfect, His plans are flawless, and His sight is 20/20.

Lord, let my ways be Your ways. Let my plans be Your plans. Let my sight not hinder my faith. Strengthen me Lord, and help me to not give in or give up. Help me to trust You with my life, my children’s lives, my marriage, and our future. I thank You that I cannot see what is ahead and I beg you to get me through this season, victoriously.


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We Are In This Together

“She’s talking rudely to me.” He utters as tears fill his eyes.

“Well I’m tired of you hitting the back of my chair!” She quickly counters with that harsh tone that paints a picture of eyes rolling.

I continue driving, praying for words and an attitude of peace. They carry on back and forth, back and forth- who can injure the other more; who will have the last word?

Finally I’ve had enough and proclaim “No one leaves this car until this is settled.”

We continue down the familiar road in silence. One minute goes by, then two, then five. Who will speak first? Who will confess their unkind words and selfish heart? Who will ask forgiveness?

Neither.

Lord, where have I gone wrong?

We are just minutes from the school. “No one has anything to say?” I demand.

“Sorry for my attitude. Will you forgive me?” She finally says.

“Yes. Sorry for being rude.” He replies.

I exhale. I suppose that that will do, Lord. But I was hoping for a little more.

She exits the car and heads into the school. I look back at my son and the tears come again. Ugh, I thought we settled this.

“What’s the matter, buddy?”

“She’s not sorry for calling me THAT name.”

“What name?”

“A big fat liar.”

I remind him that she said she was sorry and asked forgiveness. I tell him that he doesn’t know his sister’s heart and is wrongly judging her motives.

“But I know she’s not sorry for that.”

Do you know how difficult it is to send your children off to school in this state? Do you know that feeling- like you’re watching opponents in a boxing match, each examining the other’s weaknesses, attempting to take their rival down with the hardest blow?

They are family! They are siblings! They are not enemies!

And this is what the Lord is telling ME this morning. YOU are family! YOU are siblings! YOU are not enemies!

But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

-Ephesians 2:4-7

God’s people are my family. His servants are my siblings. Those He loves, I must love also, because we are in this together. We were dead in trespasses together, He made us alive together, He raised us up together, and He made us sit together. And when we walk together, the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us is made known for all to see because they will know us by our love (John 13:35.)

Do I portray a God of love and unity, or a God of anger and division? How often I wrongly judge another’s motives and heart’s intent. How many times has He said to me “Don’t you have something to say to her?” And how many times have I remained sitting in silence, walking among the world with division stirring in my heart. How difficult it must be for Him to send me out into the world carrying hatred and anger for His children, my family, my siblings.  We are in this together!

The Grand Canyon 8/2011

And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.

-John 17:22-23

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